
If you were to look beyond the complexities of daily life you’ll see there’s one common goal that motivates all human actions. Everyone irrespective of their age, race, culture and status is seeking it in their our own unique way and that universal desire is to be happy.
There is no doubt happiness is the most wanted thing in the world yet the most difficult experience to attain. So why has our birthright to joyfulness become so elusive? It’s because we’re attempting to acquire it in places and ways that guarantee we will never attain it. So let me start by clarifying once and for all where happiness is not.
Happiness isn’t found in a ‘significant other’. Relationships are wonderful, but another person cannot make you sustainably happy. Relationships are meant to be an outlet for you to share whatever level of happiness you have attained independently, and not the cause of it.
Happiness isn’t in a bigger home. A spacious abode is popular these days, but a bigger house often translates to a bigger mortgage requiring more work and more stress, which means less time to be happy. The reality is that it’s the quality of the consciousness of the dweller within the house that truly matters, not the house itself.
Happiness isn’t in the bank. Look at the Forbes richest list and you’ll notice a larger bank account doesn’t guarantee you joy… but neither does a small one.
Happiness isn’t in stuff. A new car, designer shoes, fancy clothes are laudable but anyone who’s acquired those knows that the mind fascination with them swiftly fades and the mind inevitably craves for something more. What the mind really craves is the nonmaterial which means no amount of stuff will ever be enough to satisfy the minds deeper need.
Happiness isn’t in a bottle. Calvin Klein’s latest fragrance ‘Euphoria’ or Revlon’s ‘Pink Happiness’ fall short of their promise, it turns out they’re just scented alcohol.
Happiness isn’t in time. Some people perpetually defer their joy believing that the future will save them thinking ‘when I retire’ or ‘when I do this’ or ‘when I get there’ or “when I have this then I’ll be happy’. This means our desires are always out of reach and happiness is merely an intellectual concept not a here and now experience.
The truth is the happiness we’re really seeking is not found in things, but within ourselves. This is why the modern approach is so tragic; it is all externally derived and delivers only moments of satisfaction, never a sustained experience. To be truly happy our happiness must become independent of external conditions and circumstance. The outer layer of life is eternally shifting; jobs change, people change, economies change, the weather changes, our bodies change, this means if our happiness depends upon those things then we can expect our level of joy to be continually shifting or more to the point brief or nonexistent.
Run the thought experiment and ask yourself how much of my happiness and sense of self is derived from outer things. Remember if its ‘things’ that make you happy today should these things change or be taken from you then they will ultimately bring you misery tomorrow.
So my advice is to abandon the fruitless outer search for happiness and learn to look within. Fulfillment is your natural state, it doesn’t have to be sought anywhere, it just needs to be woken up inside. It is felt when the mind is no longer seeking or craving but simply being. It begins with a shift in awareness (which is why I have dedicated my life to teaching the art of Vedic Meditation) and a shift in attitude. As the great sage Lao Tzu said “Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”